Justin and Donald

Justin and Donald.  Backstory in a nutshell:  Trump announced new tariffs against Canada.  Said they were justified because 9-11.  Oh, because national security.  That’s just dumb as shit, but, that wasn’t all.  Oh no, that wasn’t all.  Trump and top aides assailed Trudeau as a “weak” and dishonest” back-stabber who deserves a place in hell because Trudeau dared say that Canada might return fire if fired upon.

Washington Post  –>  https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/canada-us-relations-at-a-low-after-trudeau-trump-trade-tiff/2018/06/14/fe23e718-6f89-11e8-b4d8-eaf78d4c544c_story.html

So, trump put his big boy pants on, jumped into Air Force One, and took a big ol’ crap in them, almost like it was on command.  And, Bill Maher reacted in kind.  Hats off and mad, mad props to his staff. This is their parody of the 1960’s Highlights Magazine feature, Goofus and Gallant.

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It was a cartoon series for kids that taught them how to not be an asshole.

New day.  New archetypes.  New Goofus.  Bill Maher delivers.  Meet:

Justin and Donald.

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You get the gist.  Enjoy:

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And you have to end the bit with a swipe at Melania.  Because she is effing complicit with EVERYTHING the douchebag pretend king has done.  You could say, a mail order FECKLESS CUNT (we love you, Samantha Bee).

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By the way, in case you missed the “feckless cunt” episode, Samantha Bee had some much deserved criticism for Ivanka Trump for tweeting a sweet photo of her loving her little daughter on the same day it broke that her father was in charge of tearing little children from the arms of mothers by the thousands.  From her show:

“Ivanka Trump, who works at the White House, chose to post the second most oblivious tweet we’ve seen this week,” Bee said. “You know, Ivanka, that’s a beautiful photo of you and your child, but let me just say, one mother to another, do something about your dad’s immigration practices you feckless cunt!”

Right wing echo chamber media led by FOX News loudly chanted in uniform that this equated somehow to the racist vomit that Roseanne Barr spit up all over herself — that Samantha Bee should be fired like Barr.  Read all about it:

The Daily Beast   –>  https://www.thedailybeast.com/samantha-bee-tears-into-feckless-cunt-ivanka-trump

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Trump May Never Have Champions in the White House

It is difficult for Trump to share in the honor that every president since sports has bestowed on national champions. Football Teams. Basketball and Baseball Teams. Et cetera, et cetera.

It is difficult for Trump to find championship athletes to agree to be in the same room with him because not only is he just ignorant; mean; misogynist and rapey; he’s just disgusting and appears contagious. Champions — just average humans who respect themselves and pride in not living in squalor — go to lengths to avoid being in the same room with him on general sanitary grounds. But, champion athletes, you can’t field a team in pretty much any sport anymore without having a little bit of brown sugar in the mix.

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Trump never figured that black and brown brothers and sisters would ever turn down the chance to be around the likes of his kind. How would the little roaches dare?”

But, dare, they did. So, this year was turning out to be a bust for the pretend king Donald. The college champion Villanova Wildcats laughed him off, attending a children’s piano recital at their college president’s mansion, instead. Oh wait. The Philadelphia champs showed up gleefully to pay respects to their hero in the Oval office.

Oh wait . . .

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They visited the OBAMA White House. Trump hates Philadelphia. “Dirty-ass Pennsylvania losers,” he calls them, forgetting that Pennsylvania was an important state that Russia helped him steal to secure the coup. Oops.

Then, unfortunately, Philadelphia did it again. Poor trump. Old moron has Rodney Dangerfield luck. On the heels of those criminally black’d up Wildcat stealing honor from the “Greatening of America,” the Philadelphia Eagles NFL football champions stole the thunder from his all-trump-all-the-time Patriots. Of course those “coloreds” all pretty much found better things to do the day they were invited to kiss the idiot’s ring. Turns out most of them had to be mowing on their lawns and, oops, couldn’t make it.

How dare they?

Play king Donald couldn’t stand the embarrassment of throwing a party and having no one show up, so he uninvited them at the last minute and had a “give the military a good hummer” party, instead. Filled the rafters with a bunch of suckers who would be “on-the-clock required” to attend, LOL.

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New York Times –> https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/05/us/politics/trump-philadelphia-eagles-white-house-visit.html

All was looking bleak for the old boy. No one wanted to come, and now, both NBA teams playing for the championship this year preemptively told the Donald that if either of them won, well, Donald could respectfully go eat a bag of dicks — which is less about eating bags full of actual penises and more about effing off, the way the kids suggest it be done (link).

[note: by now, you know that the Golden State Warriors won the NBA Finals. You know that even if they weren’t disgusted by the idea of being around Trump because he’s an unapologetic, pathetic bigot, he’s a foreign enemy of every Californian. No golden state son or daughter; sister or brother; on any team or in any group would accept an invitation to be in the same building — let alone room with him while he is openly at war with California.]

So, no matter what could have happened with the NBA — short of a time warp to a championship team prior to Wilt Chamberlain opening the floodgates to “the darkening” of the sport, as trump calls it — no NBA team was ever going to suck up to a trump White House. Bummer, racist, old white man. No ball for you.

So, imagine the glee wrapped in a sloppy hamburger for trump when he learned that the whitest team in the whitest professional sport just won a wildly-historic championship right there in the town that trump carpetbag-coup’d into!

Congratulations, to the Washington Capitals!

Sports Illustrated –> https://www.si.com/nhl/2018/06/08/washington-capitals-win-stanley-cup-final-over-golden-knights

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Trump was reportedly salivating at the chances that his naive base would be pleased that the Donald would finally be able to con some fellow bigots into his lair to show everyone just how other tough cookies pledge loyalty to papa trump.

“They all carry tiki torches, right? I mean, just look at them.” said trump. According to sources (rumored to be Kellyanne Conway).

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Unfortunately for trump, the Capitals, too, declined his desperate invitation. As it turns out, six of the Capitals players are on either probation or parole and can not be around this White House even if they wanted to. Their probation / parole officers confirmed that it would be a violation of their continued release from prison to associate with felons or people under criminal investigation by the FBI.

There is a loophole that can still get them there. As the Washington Capitals coach, Barry Trotz explains:

They can all go. Thing is, that douchebag Trump would just have to stay in one of his tacky hotels,” he said. Allegedly. “And, he’ll have to keep his vice president with him. And, that swampy cabinet; and his creepy family. Maybe Barack Obama would feel safe to fill in. I’d go.

Kneeling out of Respect for the Fallen

A lot has been said about Colin Kaepernick and what he was doing / wasn’t doing as our national anthem was playing that day he took a knee.

The rabid racist right wing took the trump administration lead and claimed that Colin was doing it to disrespect our military.  To disrespect our glorious flag and Francis Scott’s song we adopted as our national anthem.  People have been herded into an angry corral of race-hate and bitterness.

Unfortunately, like so many things coming out of the trump administration and the republican right, these people are being mislead by people who simply want to con people and divide Americans against one another.

In reality, Colin Kaepernick was influenced in his decision to take a knee by his friend — a decorated Green Beret, Nate Boyer.

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Snopes.com –> https://www.snopes.com/veteran-kaepernick-take-a-knee-anthem/

“Soldiers take a knee in front of a fallen brother’s grave, you know, to show respect. When we’re on a patrol, you know, and we go into a security halt, we take a knee, and we pull security.”

There was no disrespect intended towards anyone.  It was a moment of silence meant to draw attention to the systematic racism inherent in the near-genocidal deaths of innocent black men and boys at the hands of white police officers.  Murders that not a single one was prosecuted.  It was a peaceful, respectful call for a wholesale change in our culture towards peace and a newfound love for fellow man.

The following video is from an episode of Real Time with Bill Maher that explains what the whole thing was and wasn’t about, and why good folk shouldn’t be judgemental and full of hate toward Colin Kaepernick because of this innocent and respectful protest.

Dead to Me

Trump Cubs WP.jpgI was so happy for the Chicago Cubs won the Major League Baseball World Series.  The team with the worst luck in Baseball; cursed to an endless drought on their road to a return FINALLY did it.

Chicago isn’t my team (I have a team), but, I still pull for them almost any time I see them playing.

Until now.  They blew it.  They visited the White House when they won.  As winners of the series do every year.  President Obama hosted them.   It was really special.  But, they for some reason accepted an invitation to go again.

So they could kiss Trump’s ring, or something.

Deadspin –> http://deadspin.com/the-cubs-got-to-watch-donald-trump-point-and-talk-1796493118

Well, at least they got some shady memories.  What it did to them was slap another curse on them.  The kind of curse that makes you wait another hundred years to win the World Series again.  I mean, they could have gained a game on the tight race for 1st place.  But, nope.  Fate had other plans.  Their league leader lost, providing them an opportunity.

But, the cubs lost too.  Ironically, perhaps, to the Washington Nationals.

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Just for craps and grins, a little news from the joke of a ceremony:

One of the players, outfielder Albert Almora Jr.

it was reported by careful citizen media watchers who combed through the footage, that player Albert Almora Jr. was subtly flipping baby-hands the bird.  Of course, Cubs sponsors have arranged for Albert to deny he was doing any such thing.  But, we know.

USA TODAY –>  http://ftw.usatoday.com/2017/06/cubs-outfielder-albert-almora-jr-denies-flipped-off-donald-trump-middle-finger-white-house-visit-mlb-photo